Coleshed – an apology

Coleshed is back!

The apology

Apologies for the enforced absence, but finally Coleshed returns to the blogosphere.

The last few months have been dogged by technical issues (our main computer died spectacularly with all our photos! and our broadband provider failed spectacularly on five (yes, 5) bl**dy occasions).

All this has been frustrating beyond frustration.

Anyone having to deal with the worlds ‘leading’ tech companies deserves everyone else’s sympathy and understanding. These businesses have become so ‘streamlined’ and ‘automated’ and ‘efficient’ that it has rendered them almost entirely incapable of delivering the product or service that their customers might actual wish to have. The B*st*rds. Fortunately, as you can tell, Coleshed is not bitter :)

In addition to all this malarky, there has been the rather more positive news of Coleshed’s relocation to shiny new premises (though in fact, neither shiny nor new; indeed, rather old). Either way service had been suspended for a bit.

It is true that this pause in service may have only been noticed by 3, maybe even 5, people. Nevertheless these things should be noted and resolved for all persons affected. (Coleshed is nothing if not customer focused).

Sexy analysis:

It may be helpful to put this in perspective with a few stats: (btw: don’t get hung up on the numbers, these stats vary considerably depending on what you read)

  • Current world population: c.7,400,000,000 (7.4bn)
  • Total English speaking population (all speakers): c.1000,000,000 (1.0bn)
  • Population aged 15-64: c.65%  (note: this is not quite Coleshed’s target age demographic, older readers are welcome, and younger readers are unlikely!)

Lets do the analysis:

  • Coleshed target readership (frankly any English speaking adult!) = 1bn x 65% = 650 million
  • Current maximum readership c.50
  • Percentage target market reached = 0.0000076%

…and so what is the size of the problem Coleshed has faced with loss of service?

The % of target readership who even noticed any form of gap in service would be about 5 people out of a potential 650,000,000.

This equals about 0.0000008%.

It’s bugger all really.

So no point over-doing this apology.

Let’s crack on!


6 thoughts on “Coleshed – an apology

  1. Surely you should be more concerned about your existing “customers” than about your maximum “potential” audience?

    After all, we are the ones who actually think you have something to post that we want to read.

    1. Dear loyal reader. Thank you for your comment, and in reply:
      We did consider our existing customers (both of you!) when this was written, hence the apology in the first place.
      However, we wanted to put all the apologetic-effort into perspective. The 0.0000008% are clearly very special. (But also it should be said, very small.)

  2. I noticed the gap in service. Does that increase the 5 to 6 or was I already included? Either way glad other you are up and running again!
    p.s. Speaking to ‘tech’ companies will never make anyone feel good, just angry!

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